Running is awful. There, I said it. It’s boring. It hurts. Most people hate it.

A few people—for some sadistic reason—do it for fun. At long distances. Anyway, a story broke last week regarding Kelly Agnew, an accomplished ultrarunner (whatever that is), getting busted for cheating. 

Nope, not steroids or HGH. This is much, much better. He was literally skipping portions of the race, hanging out in a port-a-potty. Fantastic!

So, what raised the organizers suspicions? 

From Deadspin: “Agnew won the 2013-14 edition of the race with 201.5 miles in 48 hours, and he went on to win the next three editions of the race, though he raised a few eyebrows when he won the 2014-15 race by 55 miles despite stopping after just 41 hours.”

FIFTY-FIVE MILES? Bro, if you’re going to cheat, the first rule is not to raise suspicion of said cheating. Winning a race by 55 miles is not exactly discrete. 

Per Deadspin, race officials grew suspicious (it took this long to grow suspicious? The whole 55-mile thing didn’t do it for ya?) and tracked him this year. They found that Agnew was not clocking in at a remote checkpoint at the halfway point of the mile-long lap. Instead he was sitting in the bathroom for seven minutes and then jumping out to cross the mat at the start/finish. Brilliant! 

Anway, he got stripped of a bunch of race wins or some shit (pun intended).